Another Day Closer...

As I sit here this evening and enjoy feeling Joy moving around, my thoughts stray to Faith.  As this week, goes into week 24 with Joy, it was also week 24 with Faith last year.  One year ago tomorrow was the day I was hospitalized after they did an ultrasound and realized that my water had indeed broke (after tests for fluid showing the contrary).

I am thankful that I have a doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon for my shot and to see the doctor. I think it will take up quite a bit of time and keep my mind off the day.  

I believe I have everything I need to make Faith's first birthday cake now.  I love baking, but making her cakes will always be bittersweet for me, I am sure.  

I looked quite a bit for what I wanted to make this year.  I plan to do an ombre design on the inside (lemon/yellow) and outside of her cake (pink).  I also will use hibiscus flowers as decorations.

I am sure we'll have a nice evening at home together while we share Faith's birthday cake and ice cream.  I imagine we'll talk about last year and just spend time together.

I just can't believe Faith's birthday is on Wednesday... 

Thinking of Faith Today...

I had a pretty good day overall.  Really the only thing I had scheduled for myself was to run a couple errands. I had a few things I needed to pick up for Faith's birthday cake.  I found the items I was looking for, and of course so many more cute things.

When looking at all the selections at Party City, I had a difficult time holding back my tears as I looked at all the cute items available to celebrate a child's first birthday.  There were just so many pretty things.  

There were a few things that I would have loved to get, but I just couldn't spend the money for those things with Faith not being here. I actually had to have a conversation with myself to remind myself that she is not here. Needless to say, I found what I was looking for and checked out as fast as possible. 

As I was driving to the grocery store afterwards, tears flowing, it dawned on me, yet again, that I am going to feel this way as long as I am here. Every passing year, there will be no way to not think of what Faith would be like and all the fun things we would do on each year's birthday.  

I did end up stopping at a dollar store to grab a couple things we needed for the weekend and ended up finding similar items that I'd seen at Party City, but of course for a dollar!  So, I got a few things to make our celebration of Faith's life nice and thus, completed my errands.  

Faith is our baby girl, our firstborn daughter.  We will always love and miss her.  We will always celebrate her life on her birthday.  I look forward to celebrating and sharing about Faith with Joy when she gets a little older.

We all love and miss you, Faith,
Daddy, Mommy, and little sister, Joy