Happy First Birthday Faith

Today is Faith's first birthday.  I had a difficult day, off and on.  This morning I woke up and went to go get her some balloons.  Then I needed to go to the grocery store to get a few items.  After that I headed back home and got to work on Faith's cake.  

It was't perfect, but I am pretty pleased at how it turned out.  It was lemon decorated with pink frosting.  I put hibiscus flowers all the way around it and a pink sparkly #1 candle on top.  

We also transferred Faith's ashes into a beautiful urn that we purchased.  It was a strange day and evening, but also very healing for us, I believe. 

Just now, I wrote to Faith in my journal, which was nice, as I haven't done that in awhile.  It helped me a lot to write to her.  I wrote her about today and about a year ago the day she was born.  

It was difficult, but also helpful for me. Also, I think it is very important to write down those details that I remember now that I may not remember as the years go by.  

Today has been one of the most difficult days I've had in awhile, in regards to Faith.  While I do think of her frequently, and talk about her, typically, it is not an all day affair, as it was today.  I think it was very important in my journey for me to do this, however.  We were created to grieve and it is an important process that we all need to go through in our own way and in our own time.

I love and miss Faith every day, and I will continue to do so as long as I am here.  She is and will always be my first daughter.

Happy Birthday, Faith.  Mommy loves and misses you baby girl.