Capture Your Grief - Day 24 - Choose Your Breath

Choose Your Breath is today's Capture Your Grief topic.  Most days I would say that I have a pretty good handle on where I am in my grief journey.  I certainly do believe that grief and healing can co-exist.  I believe I am living proof of that fact.

While I don't believe I will ever completely "heal" from losing Faith, I do believe that I am going through a healing process.  The Lord has restored so much back to me.  He has blessed us with another daughter, Joy, who truly does bring joy to my life every day.  She is so wonderful.  

By NO means does one child ever replace another.  However, I do believe that The Lord blessing us with Joy has helped me on my grief journey with Faith.  I am loving every moment I share with Joy.  At the same time, there are moments when I wonder what these "firsts" moments would have been like with Faith.

Joy is three months old today.  If Faith were here, she would be one year and six months old.  As strange as it is for me, I have a very strong, yet very different bond with both of my daughters.  I am blessed to hold and love Joy physically every day.  Faith I hold and love in my heart.  I've never known that so much love and so much pain could co-exist in a person's life, but it does...

Capture Your Grief - Day 8 - Wish List

Wish List is today's Capture Your Grief topic.  Where do I begin with my wish list for my grief journey?  I suppose I want others to remember Faith, first and foremost.  I also sincerely want to speak out and educate others about what happened to me and Faith in hopes that we can save other precious babies so that her death will not be in vain.

I wish that with every passing day my love and relationship with Faith will continue to grow.  I wish to teach our second daughter, Joy, about her big sister when she is old enough to understand.

I think I have so many wishes it is difficult to decide what all to write about...

I wish that as time passes, my heart will continue to heal.  Although I know the pain I feel will never go away, with time, I believe the pain will continue to grow into more love.  I know losing Faith will always be gut wrenching for me, but I would like to think that someday my love for her will be stronger than the pain.  Although, it may never be, because when you love someone so much, that is why there is so much pain...