Missing Faith

We are still on our trip. I don't know too much to say today except that I miss Faith very much. 

I miss her more at certain times than at others. I guess that's "normal". Every time I see a baby (or young girl), when I pass a shop with baby items, when I see others playing with their child/children...I miss Faith. 

I do have a relationship with her, although it's not the "traditional" mother-daughter relationship. I talk to her frequently. She's constantly on my mind & always in my heart. 

I know I have grown (& grown up) so much over the past year: physically, mentally, & spiritually. Not that I wanted to, but I have been forced to. 

While my heart aches for my daughter, know this: I appreciate life & all it's wonders now more than I ever did before. While I would certainly rather have Faith with me, I know that she's taught me to live & love in ways I never knew possible. For that, Faith, my Princess, thank you. ❤️

7 Months & 2 Days

It's been 7 months & 2 days since Faith left us. We are on vacation right now, so it is very bitter-sweet. 

It is still difficult to see children sometimes for me. I miss her so much. I want to share all the fun we are having with Faith, so I write about it in my journal. 

A very close friend of mine said this to me today, & it really hit home for me: "The pain will last forever, but you choose when to suffer."  That is, to me, a great description of loss, after some time. 

I love you Faith

Thanksgiving Meal Today

 Today we made our Thanksgiving meal and enjoyed it with our friend, Gary.  It was a lot of fun cooking and baking together.  We also played pool together.  Overall, we had a very great day.  

While it was a wonderful day overall, I found my mind wondering off to think of Faith (surprise)...

The last time I ate the "Thanksgiving meal" almost a year ago, we had found out the evening before that I was pregnant with Faith.  I don't think I will ever forget the amazing feeling I had when I saw the positive pregnancy test.  I am still so in love with our daughter, actually, more every day.

I think Thanksgiving will always be a bitter-sweet time for me because of finding out that I was pregnant with Faith.  I have enjoyed Thanksgiving as long as I can remember, and I still do, it will just be a little different for me now.