Being Thankful

This evening I am reflecting on today and being thankful.  I was thinking of Faith earlier this evening when my husband and I were spending time with Joy and having such a wonderful time.  I found myself wondering about what Faith would be life if she were here today.  I miss her so much sometimes.  I cannot help but wonder how she sounds, what she looks like, etc...someday I will know.  

As I reflect and wonder about what Faith is like now in Heaven, I must always remember to be thankful for what I do have here with me now.  I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful, sweet daughter, Joy.  

I am also surrounded now by other family and friends, who make my life so wonderful.  We are now living in the country where I grew up, and I am SO thankful that God has brought us here to raise Joy in the slower paced, more relaxed, family friendly atmosphere.  

I was looking out over the country sky this evening earlier telling my husband that it is still surreal that we are here for me.  I am so very happy and at peace here.  I love it here and I feel like I am HOME again.

I am thankful for knowing that God has placed us here to do some great things.  I have some very special things that He has placed in my heart to do, and I feel that once I get unpacked and settled in, that I can begin to start working on those things.  

No matter what life throws at you, always remember to be thankful for who and what you have.

Capture Your Grief - Day 28 - Wisdom

Wisdom...that is today's Capture Your Grief prompt.  One thing I have learned in the few years I have been on this earth, is to glean wisdom from as many places and people as possible.  I constantly do my best to seek wisdom from my elders on earth.  I have learned a great many things from doing that alone for the past number of years.  I have been blessed to be able to do so.  

I now look back at all the scenarios surrounding losing Faith with many feelings and emotions.  I continue to wish that I had the knowledge and wisdom then to know more about what was going on. Somehow, I just feel if that were the case, that Faith would be with us today.  

While I cannot dread and be stuck in the past, I can, however, move forward and gain as much knowledge and WISDOM about as many things in life as possible.  Along with that, I must make it my business to share with others the knowledge and wisdom that I gain through my experiences and my education.

James 3: 13-18 states the following:

Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

This verse really speaks to me about life in general.  Wisdom sure seems to be something that makes life good and full of peace.  I will always miss Faith, but I must gain wisdom from my experience and share that love, knowledge and wisdom with others.

For my picture today, I am using a picture of my jewelry box that used to be my Grandma's as well as a necklace that used to be hers.  I still glean wisdom from her somehow from Heaven.

Where do you search for wisdom?

Capture Your Grief - Day 17 - Explore

Explore is today's Capture Your Grief prompt. 

I've done a lot of exploring in the last six months since Faith went to Heaven; exploring in many ways and in many areas of my life.  

My picture for today is of a lap desk that my husband got me and it is a very good reminder.

When life gets me down and I need lifting up, I need to continue to remember to sing to The Lord and it makes life so much better.  

In all of my exploring thus far and my exploring I have yet to do in this journey, I know this for sure, The Lord is where I find my peace.  That is where I am and where I will stay in my grief journey...I will continue to find my rest in Him.

Reflections in the Mirror

Let me begin this post by stating that Faith has my husband's bone structure in her face as well as his strong drummer legs, so please know that she looks like him.  I am focusing this post on my personal feelings when I see myself in the mirror, but I wanted to make it very clear that she looks like my husband as well as me.

I frequently look at myself in the mirror.  I guess we all do...getting ready, doing my hair, makeup, looking at my outfits, etc...

But the reflection looking back at me in the mirror has changed.  I now wear the loss of my only child in my eyes.  I look into my own eyes and see a different me.

But when I look at my face, and cannot help but see my daughter.  It is very strange, but somehow very comforting and peaceful at the same time.  I just imagine that she looks like me.  I can almost say that I love looking at my face in an odd way, not for any other reason, except that I see Faith there.

I miss my baby girl more than I can say.  But I I know that part of her still lives in me and I see her...every time I see my reflection.