Life Today without Faith

Today was a very good day.  We went shopping and got some things we needed.  Then we came home and my husband made some wonderful vegetable soup.  We had a great time playing with Joy.  I also did some laundry (this just reminded me that it needed to go in the dryer!).  

So, now I am trying to get some work done at my desk in my office.  I've gotten a few things done for my current projects: working on a website, brainstorming ideas for my new blog, thinking of how I would like to arrange my office with my new desk, thinking of ways to help others in the pregnancy and child loss community, getting some new ideas for my new tutu business, Joy Tutu the World, and thinking of some fresh jewelry ideas for Faith Melody Memories.  

As I sit here in the late night and listen to the crickets and towels drying in the dryer, my mind now begins to  wander and think about Faith.  I can't help but to miss and think of her sometimes when I am watching Joy grow into such a beautiful little lady.  I can't believe Joy is already over 1 year old.  Faith would be almost 2 1/2 if she were here.  I know she is growing into a lovely little lady in Heaven.  I can't wait to see her again someday.

As I am remembering how beautiful Faith was the short time I was able to be with her, I think I need to create a special tutu for both her and also one for Joy...different colors...I'll have to brainstorm on that some...

I miss you sweet daughter. 

XO, Mommy

Faith Melody Memories - My "Ah Hah" Moment - Why I Do What I Do

So, I've decided I don't feel like getting the work I need to do done tonight. Just one of those nights. I've been taking some pics of my jewelry to update my Etsy shop with and was thinking about why I make jewelry.

As I was taking some pictures, I tried on a couple pairs of earrings (one was a pair of freshwater pearls like you have Jen Anderson). 

When I tried them on I went over to the mirror to see what they looked like on me.As I tried these earrings on, I said jewelry makes me feel pretty. That, in a nutshell, sums up why I make jewelry in honor of Faith. She makes me feel so much love and she makes me feel pretty. I want to share that wonderful feeling with others in Faith's memory.

This was one of those "ah hah" moments for me. While I have always done this in Faith's honor, I never really verbalized it to myself and made this much of a special connection. By helping others feel pretty, I am sharing a piece of how Faith makes me feel.

Capture Your Grief - Day 23 - Love Letter

My darling daughter, Faith,

I am taking part in the Capture Your Grief project again this year.  I miss you so very much.  Right now I am having a cup of coffee while your younger sister, Joy is sleeping.  I have so much to tell you, as I am sure you know.  Your daddy and I are doing well, though we both love and miss you so much.  

The business I created in your honor, Faith Melody Memories, is doing well.  I need to put some more time, effort, and money into it, but for now it is going pretty steady.  I will be debuting a new line called "Faith & Joy" soon and I am so thrilled.  The first items I am going to create for this new line will be honoring Pregnancy & Infant loss to spread education.  They will be bracelets.  I know you will really like them.  

I have a lot of things to get done today, so I guess I will let you go for this time.  I am sending you a long distance hug and kiss...until I can give them to you personally, I look to the clouds...

My love always,
Mommy

Capture Your Grief - Day 16 - Creative Grief

 Creative Grief is today's Capture Your Grief topic.  This topic really hits home for me.  After we lost Faith I started making jewelry as a hobby.  I have always enjoyed crafty things, but for some reason, just happened to really throw myself into making jewelry at that time.  I decided to start my jewelry business, Faith Melody Memories, not too long after that.  It is something that has given me such a great creative outlet since Faith went to Heaven.  It also gives me the great opportunity to share my creations with others and also to share her story.  I create all of my jewelry in her honor.  Very soon, I am going to be launching a new jewelry line in my store called Faith & Joy.  I am also working on some new infinity pieces that will be available soon.

I am very excited about my new line, Faith & Joy.  I believe I will be able to offer quite a number of pieces that will focus on Faith & Joy.  As I am writing, I am just now brainstorming and thinking I will add a special write up about both Faith & Joy to include with each piece of jewelry in this new line.  I believe this will be a great tribute to Faith and a special way to share Joy.

I am so glad Creative Grief is today's topic, as it has been an inspiration for me to come up with adding a special write up to include in my new line!  Perhaps I need to come up with special packaging of some sort for this line as well...hmmm...

You can see my offerings in my Etsy store here.

The pictures I have included in this post are bracelets that I made in memory of Faith.  The black and white one has her footprints, name, birth date, time, weight, and length.  The pink one has her heartbeat.  I am so very happy with how these turned out and thrilled that I have them.  It is always an honor to create such lovely memories like these for others who've lost a precious child.

Capture Your Grief - Day 3 - In Honor

Today's Capture Your Grief topic is In Honor.  I do so much in honor of Faith.  However, one of the main things I have done and do to honor her is my business, Faith Melody Memories.  I create each piece of jewelry myself with love in her honor.  I started making jewelry as a hobby after she went to Heaven this past April.  I decided it would be a great way to keep her memory alive to offer special pieces of jewelry in her honor.

Here are a couple of the bracelets I have made for myself and offer in my Etsy store for purchase. The black and white bracelet has Faith's footprints as well as her name, birth height, weight, date, and time.  The pink and black one has her heartbeat.  I cherish these and am so blessed to have the prints and heartbeat as well as the ability and supplies to be able to make them.  

Faith was a beautiful little girl and still is.  She grew inside of me for 24 weeks and 2 days.  I fell in love with her from the moment I found out that I was pregnant.  She will forever live in the hearts of so many people.  She will live in my heart until we meet again in Heaven.  

In the short time that Faith was with me, she taught me so much.  She taught me how to love in ways I never knew that I could.  She taught me what it feels like to be a mother.  She taught me that I need to live life to it's fullest.

Faith continues to teach me on a daily basis.  I miss her more than I can ever express.  I want to hold her so badly that it hurts.  I hurt for me, I hurt for my husband, I hurt for Joy.  I hurt for all the people whose lives that Faith has touched and would have touched.  So many people love her and always will.  I can't help but think of what she would be like if she were here.  She would be 1 1/2 years old this month.  

Faith will always be my oldest daughter, my love, and the light in my heart.

Mommy loves and misses you sweetheart.

Remembering & Celebrating - 1 Year of Blogging

One year ago today I started this blog to honor Faith Melody Bryant.  I cannot believe it has been a year already.  In the past year, I have felt emotions I never knew I could feel.  My love and relationship have both grown for Faith in ways I never could have expected possible.  I love and miss her so very much, but I take some comfort in knowing that I will be with her again...

In the meantime, I do my best to honor her in any way that I can...

...A few nights ago, I made myself a beautiful bracelet that has the names of both of my baby girls: Faith and Joy.  It turned out just beautifully and I am so thrilled with it.

This morning was a difficult morning for me.  I thought a lot about Faith and missed her very much, and cried quite a bit.  Sometimes I just need to spend time with her and that is the only way that I am able to do so.

Wearing this bracelet is a wonderful way for me to be able to remember Faith and celebrate both Faith and Joy.  Plus, if others notice it and ask about it, it is a great way to strike up a conversation about both of my beautiful daughters.

I know I will continue to make jewelry in honor of Faith as long as I am able.  I have some ideas in the works for creating more pieces that include both of my daughters.  I am thrilled to be able to do so, as it is a hobby I really enjoy, and a way to honor, remember, and celebrate both Faith and Joy!

Mother's Day on the Way

As Mother's Day approaches again this year, I find myself thinking of Faith, Joy, as well as my Mother, and Mother-In-Law.  Last year, we were blessed to spend Mother's Day with my husband's mother.  It was quite a difficult day, having just lost Faith, but also a special day, as it was my first Mother's Day.  My husband gave me a beautiful yellow rose last Mother's Day and I will treasure it for years to come.

This year, we will be blessed to be able to spend Mother's Day with my mother, as my parents will be visiting us during that time.  I am really looking forward to spending the day with my mother and celebrating the day as Faith and Joy's mother.  

I look forward to spending time with my mother on this special day, but also being able to give her something that will show her this love.  If you are looking for something special to give to your mother on this special day, please stop by my store, Faith Melody Memories, in honor of my first born, Faith.  I am currently offering a 10% discount on all orders between now and May 9 by using the code 10MOTHER upon checkout.  I also have a section that has many items that are $15.00 and less to chose from.

As we get closer to Mother's Day, I ask you to please remember the women in your life who may be a mother to a child(ren) that are no longer with them for any reason.  This day is a difficult day for them, so even if you are not able to buy them a gift, share your time, love, and kind words with them. Even if you do not see any children with them, they are still a mother.

Faith Melody Memories - Seeking Bloggers

After Faith went to Heaven, I started creating jewelry as a hobby.  I created some pieces that her hand and foot prints in her honor so I can wear them.  I decided I wanted to create these types of items for others.  I recently decided I also want to add my other creations to my shop, as I started making jewelry in Faith's honor.  Truly, each piece I create is special to me and is made with  Faith in my heart and in her honor. 

I am currently seeking a few bloggers that blog about fashion/jewelry that would be willing to do a blog post featuring a piece (supplied for free) made by me.  If you are interested, please send me a message via my contact form.

It is my utmost honor and my heart's desire to share Faith with the world.  I can do this by creating jewelry and sharing it with others.  

Please take a look at my store, Faith Melody Memories, and let me know what you think of my creations.  I also take custom orders if you have something special in mind.

Faith Melody will always be my first child and I will continue to share her love with all that I can.

Capture Your Grief - Day 14 - Dark/Light

Dark/Light is today's Capture Your Grief prompt; focusing on the dark and light of grief.  So, I will discuss a little bit of both the dark and light sides of my grief.  

In the first days after we lost Faith, I experienced some of the darkest days I have ever known.  I honestly didn't care about being alive.  No, let me correct myself, I did not want to live.  I would have given anything to have Faith live.  I still would.

I cannot change what happened.  So, in the midst of my darkness, I must focus on the light of the fact that she is in Heaven now and move forward the way she wants me to.  I have to speak out about what happened to me and do my best to educate others about what they can do if they are facing similar situations as I did.  

I had pre-cancerous cells removed from my cervix prior to my pregnancy with Faith.  These cells were removed with the LEEP procedure, during which part of the cervix is removed to remove the pre-cancerous cells.  This procedure and ANY procedure that involves the cervix should ALWAYS REQUIRE OB/GYNs to put any pregnancy at least at an "at risk" category and do CL (cervical length) checks the entire pregnancy.  Also, currently, doctors will not do a preventative cerclage unless you have a history of IC (incompetent cervix) (i.e. you have had a pre-mature baby or have lost a baby).  I believe that CL checks should be a normal part of ALL pregnancies, but certainly should be done for anyone who has had any type of cervical procedure.  I also believe that if shortening of the cervix is found that preventative cerclages should be done in the early weeks (12-15) of pregnancy.

I have also started this blog, as well as a business Faith Melody Memories in an effort to help myself and others who may be going through similar loss(es).  

My perspective of life has changed so much since we lost Faith.  I have a new huge respect for God, my parents, and also want to love more and live life to the fullest possible.  There is so much in life now that simply doesn't matter.  There are important things in life and there are unimportant things.  I know have a different view of life in general.  My priorities are different.  I am thankful to be alive. 

So, since I am alive, I can share my view with you.  Here it is: If God blesses me with waking up tomorrow for yet another day, I will love the best I can and do my best to reach out to others in any way I can.  I figure if I am still here, I still have work to do.

In conclusion, what I have to say about dark and light inside my grief are these things: 1) God created us to grieve when we encounter loss - if you are going through loss, please know that you need to grieve, cry, etc...in order to go through it.  2) In the midst of the dark in grief, there is light if you look for it.  Use your experience to help and love others.  

In your grief, go through your dark, but through your darkness, let your Light shine.

Capture Your Grief - Day 9 - In Memory

In Memory is today's Capture Your Grief  prompt.  There are so many things that I have and have done in Faith's memory since she went to Heaven.  Since I don't have time to discuss them all, nor do you want to hear about each one, I'll focus on a few of them.

I've started this blog in honor of Faith in hopes of helping myself as well as others going through similar grief.  It has helped me a lot.  I have also started writing in the journal that my husband and I purchased during my pregnancy.  I feel closer to Faith when I write and draw in what I now fondly refer to as "Our Journal".

I now collect "Faith" jewelry.  I think I always will.  The silver necklace you see in the picture that says Faith is one that I got before we found out that we were having a girl.  We both just knew.  I wore it all the time, and was wearing it when Faith was born.  Needless to say that it is one of the most precious necklaces I own and I will cherish it for years to come.  I am also planning to make some Faith jewelry soon, since I have now started doing some bead work.

I have also made the two bracelets you see in this picture: one that has Faith's heartbeat, the other that has her footprints as well as her birth length, weight, time, and date.

Creating these bracelets has brought me comfort as well as given me a wonderful creative outlet that I did not have before.  I plan to create similar pendants and earrings soon.  

Soon after Faith's passing, I realized that I wanted to create items for people going through this loss that would be long-lasting, highly sentimental, and yet still very affordable.  So, in Faith's honor and in her memory, I have created Faith Melody Memories.  When anyone purchases that has lost a child, part of the purchase will be donated to the church camp that I grew up going to every summer, so that children that cannot afford to go can still have the opportunity.  I will be creating many different items for different occasions, keepsakes, and the like, but the basis for my company will always be sharing Faith's love with others.  You can see my items here: Faith Melody Memories.

Faith Melody Memories - Momentos Update

I am proud to announce that I have created my prototype (a bracelet for me) of one customized bracelet like what I will have for sale (made to order) in my new Etsy store soon.  I am thrilled about being able to create this type of momento for people.  Any thoughts and suggestions would be appreciated.  I hope to have another one done soon, but I am brainstorming how I want to do the second one...

The bracelet has Faith's footprints as well as her name, date and time of birth, as well as her measurements.  I know this is something I will be able to treasure and wear for many years to come.  

I plan to be making other special bracelets, as well as earrings and pendants similar to these soon. 

I will be working to get my new Etsy store up and running soon, so I will have that information available ASAP.  In the meantime, I'll keep brainstorming new ways to honor loved ones with these pieces of jewelry.

In honor of our precious daughter, my new business will carry her name...Faith Melody Memories.

Momentos Update

I am currently working to get my office (Faith's room) in order so that I can get to work on momentos.  I have been brainstorming and coming up with other ideas that I am adding to my list.  I am getting very excited to show you!

Along with momentos for people who have lost a child(ren), I am working on some ideas for momentos of other family members that have gone to Heaven as well...

I should have some more work done this weekend, so please check back for more information!