Earlier today, as I was texting some of my family and friends a 17 week picture of myself, I very unexpectedly broke down as I started thinking of Faith. I realized that a year ago I was about this far along with her and we are quickly approaching her first birthday.
I got out Faith's baby book and looked at her pictures, which, also, unexpectedly, brought me peace. I cried for quite a bit, missing her so much. I long to hold her in my arms so much.
Although I am extremely thrilled to be pregnant again, I am experiencing so many different feelings and emotions. Throw pregnancy hormones on top of that, and there you go. Most of the time, I feel fairly normal and good. But then I have those moments that I simply cannot control. One thing I have learned is that in those moments, it is best for me to embrace the feelings and remember Faith. It helps me so much to do so, and also aides in my "healing", if you will.
I know I will miss Faith until the day I go home to Heaven. I am also learning about missing her every day. Each day is a new day, and therefore, a new day of my grief journey...
I love you Faith.