Capture Your Grief - Day 4 - Dark + Light

Today's Capture Your Grief topic is Dark + Light.  This topic makes perfect sense to me.  I have gone through so many emotions and feelings in the time since Faith died.  Of course, during the immediate time after she passed, my life seemed only Dark.  I did not want to continue living.  Looking back, I suppose this is a natural initial response. 

After some time, I began to see the Light that has come from Faith's brief life with us.  Although, I certainly would prefer for her to be here with us, I have learned so much from her being in Heaven.  I see life as so much more precious than I did before.  Although I knew life was precious before, it just became more so having lost Faith.  

One thing that is certainly Light about Faith is that she is in Heaven.  I wish with all my heart that she were here with us to see the sky, the ocean, the trees, animals, etc...  But, on the other side of that wish, I also know that Faith never knew anything but love on this earth.  She never felt pain, rejection, hurt, or any other negative things.  She opened her eyes for the first time and saw our Lord.  From an eternal standpoint, it really doesn't get better than that.

Another Light in this Dark, is that we now have our daughter, Joy.  While we of course would love to have them both here if we could choose, we cannot.  It is possible that Joy may not have been with us if Faith would have survived...

So, as I continue my grief journey, which I believe I always will, I will continue to have an equal mix of Dark + Light.