Yesterday and today I have had a lot of peace and joy from The Lord. That's not to say that I am not still grieving and missing Faith, because I always will. However, it does give me hope and encouragement to know that I can wake up in the morning and feel the peace and joy of The Lord. For awhile, I really did believe that I wouldn't enjoy anything in life anymore.
It still hurts to see babies, and I am sure it will for quite awhile. But I also am thankful for babies when I see them. Also, I am so thankful to be alive, knowing how many things can go wrong in pregnancy it makes me see how blessed I am to be here.
Through all the pain and suffering I am enduring, I am also really beginning to understand the peace and joy of The Lord, as I have been able to begin enjoying the little things in life again. I am not the same person that I once was, nor will I ever be the same. I wouldn't want to be the same. I want to take my experience and loss and help others.
If you are experiencing the loss of a child or any other loss, please know that you are not alone. Also, please know that you can have peace and joy from The Lord if you ask Him. You will still be in pain and go through the grieving process. But know that the joy of The Lord is your strength and that He will give you peace.